Leadership; Learning/Growth; Legacy; Life/Living; Listening; Living Systems; Love Memories; Miracles; Motivation; Music   LEADERSHIP It is a terrible thing to look over your shoulder when you are trying to lead - and find no one there. ~Unknown There go my people. I must find out where they are going so that I can lead them. ~Alexandre Ledru-Rollin Leaders make ideas tangible and real to others, so that they can support them. For no matter how marvellous the vision, the effective leader must use a metaphor, a work, or a model to make that vision clear to others. ~Unknown Whether they realize it or not, middle managers and supervisors are ambassadors of the organization's culture. When they feel strongly about something -- by being either enthusiastic or cynical -- the feeling is contagious. ~Unknown People's most important initiatives usually depend upon the support and goodwill of others over whom they have no authority. ~Unknown True empowerment is about.... being a leader to oneself; to do the uncommon -- and often difficult -- thing because it is in keeping with one's values, and... doing it skillfully. ~Unknown Leaders create environments of opportunity. ~Brad Mueller You can hand your staff a map and tell them to go to the mountaintop. Or you can give them boots, a compass, the desire to climb -- and an invitation to come with you. ~Unknown If you want to build a ship, then don't drum up men to gather wood, give orders, and divide the work. Rather, teach them to yearn for the far and endless sea. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery Martin Luther King did not say, I have a strategic plan. Instead, he shouted, I have a DREAM!, and, he created a crusade. ~Unknown source top of page Leadership is linked to behaviour, not position. Managing from the Heart Hear and understand me. Even if you disagree, please don’t make me wrong. Acknowledge the greatness within me. Remember to look for my loving intentions. Tell me the truth with compassion. Hyler Bracey, Jack Rosenblum, Aubrey Sandord, Roy Trueblook Leadership has less to do with individualism than with the ability to build and maintain relationships across the organization. Leaders inspire others to take on the tasks of leadership. The essence of leadership is not giving things or even providing visions. It is offering oneself and one’s spirit. ~Lee Bolman and Terrence Deal Outstanding management skills are an essential component of leadership. Leadership is not style, it is actions. Leaders don't try to win followers; rather, they inspire others to be leaders. The primary function of managers is to serve their subordinates. Leadership is the capacity to translate vision into reality. ~Warren G. Bennis Leadership is the ability to influence a group of individuals so that they act of their own free will to achieve shared goals. Full, free self-expression is the essence of leadership. The key to full self-expression is understanding one's self and the world, and the key to understanding is learning from one's own life and experience. Once leaders commit to doing the deeply personal work of cutting through the layers of ego, they begin to clarify how to make an authentic contribution in all their spheres of influence. ~Tom Gegax The leader arouses confidence in followers. The followers feel better able to accomplish whatever goals s/he and they share. ~Thomas J. Peters and Robert H. Waterman Jr.; In Search of Excellence The leader PULLS rather than PUSHES people on. top of page Every man must be his own leader. He now knows enough not to follow other people. He must follow the light that’s within himself, and through this light he will create a new community. ~Laurens Van Der Post In management there is the soft stuff and the hard stuff; and the soft stuff is harder than the hard stuff. "To manage" means "to bring about, to accomplish, to have charge of or responsibility for, to conduct." "Leading" is "influencing, guiding in direction, course, action, opinion." We cannot direct the winds, but we can adjust our sails. ~Indian Proverb The speed of the leader determines the rate of the pack. To manage our relationships with others we must first manage our relationship with ourselves. Power wielders may treat people as things. Leaders may not. ~James MacGregor Burns Fail to honour people, They fail to honour you; But of a good leader, who talks little, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, They will all say, “we did this ourselves.” ~Lao Tzu Leaders succeed only when they embody and express, for better or worse, values rooted in the social character of group, class, or nation. ~Michael Maccoby A leader must... create a new and compelling vision capable of bringing the work force to a new place; develop commitment for the new vision; Institutionalize the new vision ~Warren Bennis and Burt Nanus top of page Leaders create energy by instilling purpose. Managers control and direct energy. Do not follow where the path may lead; go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. ~Unknown Leaders define success in terms of the accomplishment of a business achievement, the success of a product or service. Managers define success according to measures that are derived from the process of business independent of the content of the business. Leaders appeal to the higher values, the long-term potential of the individual to feel a part of, a contributor to achievements of mankind. The manager appeals to the immediate needs for income, status, and security. Leadership brings out the creativity of the individual and inspires courage. Management without leadership produces conformity. ~Lawrence M. Miller People only trust leaders who articulate a moral code, who care about people and are competent in the exercise of power. ~Michael Maccoby Leadership: The art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it. ~Dwight D. Eisenhower The nation will find it very hard to look up to the leaders who are keeping their ears to the ground. ~Winston Churchill The final test of a leader is that he leaves behind him in others the conviction and the will to carry on. ~Walter Lippmann One man with courage makes a majority. ~Andrew Jackson It is easier to ask forgiveness than to gain permission. ~Grace Hopper You can't manage a man into combat, you must lead him. You manage things; you lead people. ~Grace Hopper A good leader inspires others with confidence in him; a great leader inspires them with confidence in themselves. ~Unknown Leaders manage the dream. ~Warren Bennis Managers are necessary; leaders are essential....Leadership is of the spirit, compounded of personality and vision ....Management is of the mind, more a matter of accurate calculation, statistics, methods, timetables and routines. ~Sir William Slim The first responsibility of a leader is to define responsibility. The last is to say thank you. In between, the leader is a servant. ~Max De Pree The first and last task of a leader is to keep hope alive. ~John W. Gardner If it were desired to reduce man to nothing, it would be necessary only to give his work a character of uselessness. ~Fyodor Dostoevski, House of the Dead Leadership is not a spectator sport. ~Kouzes and Posner Throughout history, every great leader has learned that, concommitantly with leaving their footprints in the sands of time, they must invariably leave a few noseprints as well. ~A. D. Mullen, Jr. The Ten Commandments of Leadership Thou cannot accomplish the goals of the organization. You must depend upon those with whom you work. Thou cannot do all of the process activities. You must delegate authority and responsibility. Thou cannot succeed without environmental support. You must seek feedback from the environment and you must represent your organization to the environment. Thou cannot assume you are the only intelligent being in the organization. You must involve other organizational members in the organizational functions. Thou cannot survive without feedback to members. Evaluation and discussion are critical. Thou cannot survive without feedback from members. You must create a climate of trust and show a willingness to listen. Thou cannot satisfy all the people all the time. But you should upset the right people for the right reason. Thou cannot keep your position forever. You must leave it for the right cause at the right time. Thou cannot expect everything to go right all of the time. You must not take events personally or allow others to take them personally. Thou cannot ignore your personal and professional needs. You must maintain your integrity and self in all situations. (excerpted from The Leadership Challenge by Kouzes & Posner ) You can't be motivated by self-interests and expect to be a leader. The instant you feel exempt from the standards of the organization, you cease to be a leader. A leader galvanizes people by living their shared vision. (Cheryl Breetwor, ShareData Corp.) top of page You can handle people more successfully by enlisting their feelings than by convincing their reason. ~Paul P. Parker Leadership is not a person or a position. It is a complex moral relationship between people, based on trust, obligation, commitment, emotion, and a shared vision of the good. Transforming leadership is a relationship in which leaders and followers morally elevate each other. ~James MacGregor Burns The leader’s job is not for fight for control, but to be a catalyst in the unfolding of meaning. ~Joseph Jaworski – Synchronicity Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm. ~Publius Syrus The heroes and leaders toward peace in our time will be those men and women who have the courage to plunge into the darkness at the bottom of the personal and the coporate psyche and face the enemy within. ~Sam Keen The leader sets the stage for “predictable miracles.” ~Joseph Jaworski – Synchronicity Leaders can deal with “adaptive” issues not by providing authoritative answers, but by asking hard questions that spur the entire community to rethink its assumptions. Those who would be leaders must prepare for a lifetime of bypassing the traditional query of, "what's the answer?" by internalizing Gertrude Stein's dying words: "What is the question?" ~Colonel Jay M. Parker Listen. In every office you hear the threads of love and joy and fear and guilt, the cries for celebration and reassurance, and somehow you know that connecting those threads is what you are supposed to do and business takes care of itself. ~From "Threads" by James Autry LEARNING/GROWTH Learning without thought is labour lost; thought without learning is perilous. ~Confucius The only kind of learning which significantly influences behavior is self-discovered or self-appropriated learning - truth that has been assimilated in experience. ~Carl Rogers All the world is a laboratory to the inquiring mind. ~Martin H. Fischer An educated person is one who has finally discovered that there are some questions to which nobody has the answer. ~Unknown There can be no knowledge without emotion. We may be aware of a truth, yet until we have felt its force, it is not ours. To the cognition of the brain must be added the experience of the soul. ~Arnold Bennett, British novelist. You cannot teach a man anything. You can only help him discover it within himself. ~Galileo Galilei Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do. ~Goethe Sit down before fact as a little child, be prepared to give up every conceived notion, follow humbly wherever and whatever abysses nature leads, or you will learn nothing. ~Thomas Huxley We learn from history that we do not learn from history. ~Georg Wilhelm F. Hegel I cannot teach anybody anything, I can only make them think ~Socrates If the past cannot teach the present and the father cannot teach the son, then history need not have bothered to go on, and the world has wasted a great deal of time. ~Russell Hoban I will study and get ready, and perhaps my chance will come. ~Abraham Lincoln I don't think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday. ~Abraham Lincoln The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn. ~Alvin Toffler An investment in knowledge pays the best interest. ~Benjamin Franklin Learning is not a spectator sport. ~D. Blocher The way to regulate well in times of great uncertainty is by learning rather than controlling. Not learning the answers to known questions that serve the intent to control, but learning what questions about balancing and optimizing now merit asking, and then learning how those questions might be answered provisionally — until the present moment emerges into a new context of questions. ~Donald N. Michael The man who never alters his opinions is like standing water, and breeds reptiles of the mind. ~William Blake I never teach my pupils; I only attempt to provide the conditions in which they can learn. ~Albert Einstein A mind stretched by a new idea never regains its original dimensions. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes Sit down before fact as a little child, be prepared to give up every preconceived notion, follow humbly wherever and whatever abysses nature leads, or you will learn nothing. ~Thomas H. Huxley For learning to take place with any kind of efficiency students must be motivated. To be motivated, they must become interested. And they become interested when they are actively working on projects which they can relate to their values and goals in life. ~G. Tuberville Time invested in improving ourselves cuts down on time wasted in disapproving of others. ~Unknown Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere. ~Chinese Proverb Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. ~Douglas Adams The important thing is not so much that every child should be taught, as that every child should be given the wish to learn. ~John Lubbock A room without books is like a body without a soul. ~Marcus Tullius Cicero Live as if your were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. ~Gandhi Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. ~Henry Ford We presuppose two things: that there is yet to be learned infinitely more than is now known, and that man can learn it. ~John W. Campbell, Jr. Learn avidly. Question repeatedly what you have learned. Analyze it carefully. Then put what you have learned into practice intelligently. ~Confucius We must do all in our power to educate the public, for I believe that in the end only a change of heart is really effective. ~Ruth Harrison I am always ready to learn although I do not always like being taught. ~Winston Churchill It is important that students bring a certain ragamuffin, barefoot irreverence to their studies; they are not here to worship what is known, but to question it. ~Jacob Bronowski The perfecting of one's self is the fundamental base of all progress and all moral development. ~Confucius The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn. ~Alvin Toffler Give me a fruitful error any time, full of seeds, bursting with its own corrections. You can keep your sterile truth for yourself. ~Vilfredo Pareto Learning is a process of active engagement with experience. It is what people do when they want to make sense of the world. It may involve an increase in skills, knowledge, understanding, values and the capacity to reflect. Effective learning leads to change, development and a desire to learn more. ~Unknown I have never in my life learned anything from any man who agreed with me. ~Dudley Field Malone You learn something every day if you pay attention. ~Ray LeBlond The word "crisis" is from the Greek, meaning "a moment to decide." The recurrent moments of crisis and decision when understood, are growth junctures, points of initiation which mark a release from one state of being and a growth into the next. ~Jill Purce When the student is ready, the master appears. ~Buddhist Proverb When the student is ready, the teacher will come. ~Unknown If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. ~Derek Bok Education makes a people easy to lead, but difficult to drive; easy to govern but impossible to enslave. ~Lord Brougham top of page Live to learn and you will learn to live. ~Portugese proverb In Chinese, the two symbols which express the word “learning” are “studying” and “practicing constantly”. You can never say that you’ve learned something, only that you are practicing. ~Dawna Markova Wear your learning, like your watch, in a private pocket: and do not merely pull it out and strike it merely to show that you have one. ~Lord Chesterfield A little learning is a dangerous thing; Drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring: There shallow draughts intoxicate the brain, And drinking largely sobers us again. ~Alexander Pope 1688-1744 He will have to learn, I know, that all people are not just- that all men and women are not true. Teach him that for every scoundrel there is a hero that for every enemy there is a friend. Let him learn early that the bullies are the easiest people to lick. ~Abraham Lincoln A little learning is a dangerous thing, but a lot of ignorance is just as bad. ~Bob Edwards He who learns but does not think is lost! He who thinks but does not learn is in great danger. ~Confucius Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. ~Ernest Hemingway There are three ingredients to the good life; learning, earning, and yearning. ~Christopher Morley Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on. ~Samuel Butler, English author The ability to learn faster than the competition is often the only sustainable competitive advantage a company can have. ~Aire de Geus In the long history of humankind (and animalkind too) those who learned to collaborate and improvise most effectively have prevailed. ~Charles Darwin I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand. ~Chinese Proverb The Learning Tree Come, you and I, Let us sit in the shade of this tree we've grown from the seeds of our yearning. For in the long ago we were friends not yet met, but sowing the seeds of our dreams in the common earth of life's longing for itself. And with our growing, learning, together, alone, we nurtured and nudged each other through uncertainty, surprise, impatience and joy; destination unsure, awareness unfolding. And so we grow we change, we learn, building wisdom and relationships as we go; looking inside, outside, affirming, questioning, challenging who, what and why we are. And so, if tributes turn to tears, please know they fall on the beating heart of this tree of life and learning; yours, mine, ours. ~r.brazier We Learn by Doing Not many years ago a man began to play the cello. Now, most people would say that what he was doing was “learning to play” the cello. But these words carry into our minds the strange idea that there exists two very different processes: (1) learning to play the cello; and (2) playing the cello. They imply that one will do the first until they have completed it, at which point they will stop the first process and begin the second. In short, this man will go on “learning to play” and then will “begin to play.” Of course, this is nonsense. There are not two processes, but one. We learn to something by doing it. There is no other way. ~John Holt A single conversation with a wise man is better than ten years of study. ~Chinese Proverb Before you become too entranced with gorgeous gadgets and mesmerizing video displays, let me remind you that information is not knowledge, knowledge is not wisdom, and wisdom is not foresight. Each grows out of the other, and we need them all. ~Arthur C. Clarke I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. ~Mark Twain Every act of conscious learning requires the willingness to suffer an injury to one's self-esteem. That is why young children, before they are aware of their own self-importance, learn so easily. ~Thomas Szasz The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing. ~John Powell Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. ~Mahatma Gandhi Nothing is more terrible than activity without insight. ~Thomas Calyle The most useful piece of learning for the uses of life is to unlearn what is untrue. ~Antisthenes top of page LEGACY The Legacy When I die, give what is left of me to children. If you need to cry, cry for your brothers walking beside you. Put your arms around anyone and give them what you need to give to me. I want to leave you with something, something better than words or sounds. Look for me in the people I have known and loved. And if you cannot live without me, then let me live on in your eyes, your mind and your acts of kindness. You can love me most by letting hands touch hands and letting go of children that need to be free. Love does not die, people do. So when all that is left of me is love... Give me away... LIFE/LIVING Each day, and the living of it, has to be a conscious creation in which discipline and order are relieved with some play and pure foolishness. ~May Sarton Life accepts only partners, not bosses. Systems do not accept direction, only provocation. ~Margaret Wheatley Life loves to be taken by the lapel and told, "I am with you kid. Let's go." ~Maya Angelou What is the meaning of human life, or of organic life altogether? To answer this question at all implies a religion. Is there any sense then, you ask, in putting it? I answer, the man who regards his own life and that of his fellow creatures as meaningless is not merely unfortunate but almost disqualified for life. ~Albert Einstein ...but life never comes to a closure; life is process, even mystery. Life is known only to those who have found a way to be comfortable with change and the unknown. Given the nature of life, there may be no security, but only adventure. ~Rachel Naomi Remen Life is a series of collisions with the future; it is not the sum of what we have been, but what we yearn to be. ~Jose Ortega y Gasset If you were all alone in the universe with no one to talk to, no one with which to share the beauty of the stars, to laugh with, to touch, what would be your purpose in life? It is other life, it is love, which gives your life meaning. This is harmony. We must discover the joy of each other, the joy of challenge, the joy of growth. ~Mitsugi Saotome Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken. ~Gilbert Perreira Life is the ultimate teacher, but it is usually through experience and not scientific research that we discover its deepest lessons. We are all here for a single purpose: to grow in wisdom and to learn to love better. We can do this through losing as well as through winning, by having and by not having, by succeeding or by failing. All we need to do is to show up openhearted for class. ~Rachel Naomi Remen The unique personality which is the real life in me, I can not gain unless I search for the real life, the spiritual quality, in others. I am myself spiritually dead unless I reach out to the fine quality dormant in others. For it is only with the god enthroned in the innermost shrine of the other, that the god hidden in me, will consent to appear. ~Felix Adler Everything in life changes you in some way. Even the smallest things. If you do not accept these changes, you do not accept yourself. For through these changes brings new and greater things to you, making you wiser, as time progresses. To avoid these changes is a loss. You only live your life once. Do not waste a minute of it avoiding things. Let them come to you, and learn from them. There's always tomorrow. ~Adam R. Gwizdala If a man hasn't discovered something that he will die for, he isn't fit to live. ~Martin Luther King, Jr. Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness that you had thought could never be yours. ~Dale Carnegie Work like you don't need money, Love Like you've never been hurt, And dance like no one's watching. ~Satchel Paige Life is a succession of lessons, which must be lived to be understood. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson The Logic of Life Every thing is in a constant process of discovery and creating; Life uses messes to get to well- ordered solutions; Life is intent on finding what works, not what’s “right;” Life creates more possibilities as it engages with opportunities; Life is attracted to order; Life organizes around identity; Everything participates in the creation and evolution of its neighbours. ~ Margaret Wheatley - A Simpler Way) The evening of a well spent life brings its lamps with it. ~ Joseph Joubert A Cowboy's Guide to Life Don't squat with your spurs on. Don't interfere with something that ain't botherin' you none. Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance. The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm. The colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'. If it don't seem like it's worth the effort, it probably ain't. It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep. The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with watches you shave his face in the mirror every morning. Never ask a barber if you need a haircut. If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. Don't worry about bitin' off more'n you can chew; your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think. Always drink upstream from the herd. Generally, you ain't learnin' nothing when your mouth's a-jawin'. Tellin' a man to git lost and makin' him do it are two entirely different propositions. If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there with ya. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment. When you give a personal lesson in meanness to a critter or to a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson. When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back. Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so important to know what it is, but it's sure crucial to know what it was. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back into your pocket. Never miss a good chance to shut up. ~ Cowboy unknown top of page A Story To Live By My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau and lifted out a tissue-wrapped package. "This," he said, "is not a slip. This is lingerie." He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip. It was exquisite; silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The price tag with an astronomical figure on it was still attached. "Jan bought this the first time we went to New York, at least 8 or 9 years ago. She never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is the occasion." He took the slip from me and put it on the bed with the other clothes we were taking to the mortician. His hand lingered on the soft material for a moment, then he slammed the drawer shut and turned to me. "Don't ever save anything for a special occasion. Every day you're alive is a special occasion." I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores that follow an unexpected death. I thought about them on the plane returning to California from the Midwestern town where my sister's family lives. I thought about all the things that she hadn't seen or heard or done. I thought about the things that she had done without realizing that they were special. I'm still thinking about his words, and they've changed my life. I'm reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting on the deck and admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm spending more time with my family and friends and less time in committee meetings. Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experience to savor, not endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them. I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for every special event-such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, the first camellia blossom. I wear my good blazer to the market if I feel like it. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries without wincing. I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks in hardware stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well as my party-going friends'. "Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now. I'm not sure what my sister would have done had she known that she wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we all take for granted. I think she would have called family members and a few close friends. She might have called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for past squabbles. I like to think she would have gone out for a Chinese dinner, her favorite food. I'm guessing-I'll never know. It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew that my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing good Friends whom I was going to get in touch with-someday. Angry because I hadn't written certain letters that I intended to write-one of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband and daughter often enough how much I truly love them. I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special. Every day, every minute, every breath truly is a gift. ~ Ann Wells (Los Angeles Times) top of page There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. ~Albert Einstein As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round. ~Ben Hogan "Human being" is more a verb than a noun. Each of us is unfinished, a work in progress." ~Rachel Naomi Remen There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening, that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. ~Martha Graham The road of life can only reveal itself as it is traveled; each turn in the road reveals a surprise. Man's future is hidden. ~Unknown Every man's life lies within the present; for the past is spent and done with, and the future is uncertain. ~Marcus Aurelius Life is a continual process of remaking ourselves. ~Unknown Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. ~Addison An Interview with God "Come in," God said. "So, you would like to interview Me?" "If you have the time," I said. God smiled and said: "My time is eternity and is enough to do everything; what questions do you have in mind to ask Me?" "What surprises you most about mankind?" God answered: "That they get bored of being children, are in a rush to grow up, and then long to be children again. That they lose their health to make money and then lose their money to restore their health. That by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, such that they live neither for the present nor the future. They live as if they will never die, and they die as if they had never lived......." God's hands took mine and we were silent for awhile and then I asked..... "As a parent, what are some of life's lessons you want your children to learn?" God replied with a smile: "To learn that they cannot make anyone love them. What they can do is to let themselves be loved. To learn that what is most valuable is not what they have in their lives, but who they have in their lives. To learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others. All will be judged individually on their own merits, not as a group on a comparison basis! To learn that a rich person is not the one who has the most, but is one who needs the least. To learn that it only takes a few seconds to open profound wounds in persons we love, and that it takes many years to heal them. To learn to forgive by practising forgiveness. To learn that there are persons that love them dearly, but simply do not know how to express or show their feelings. To learn that money can buy everything but happiness. To learn that a true friend is someone who knows everything about them....and likes them anyway." I sat there for awhile enjoying the moment. I thanked Him for His time and for all that He has done for me and my family, and He replied, "Anytime. I am here 24 hours a day. All you have to do is ask for me, and I will answer." People may forget what you said, People my forget what you did, But people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Author Unknown top of page I Will Do You No Favor If I withhold my voice of anger from you for your sake, you, in listening too hard to me, will hear more anger than ever any real voice of mine would have held. If I curb my raucous ribald pleasure voice for anticipation of your sensibilities, you will know I have curbed, and pleasure will be dimmed and overlaid with grimy speculation as to why. (what else than pleasure was there that he did not say?) If I damp my robust affection for you and keep my arms, that want to hug you, bound at my sides (as would seem appropriate for men of our station and trade) your arms, or perhaps only fingers, will twitch too, stifled and pinched off meanly, and perhaps, in spite against their mind-formed shackles, will tense to fists. All that I withhold diminishes me and cheats you. All that you withhold diminishes you and cheats me. When we hold back ourselves for each other’s sake, that is no service to us either one. We only collude in the weakening of us both. A master in the art of living draws no sharp distinction between his work and his play, his labour and his leisure, his mind and his body, his education and his recreation. He hardly knows which is which. He simply pursues his vision of excellence through whatever he is doing and leaves others to determine whether he is working or playing. To himself he always seems to be doing both. ~James Michener I began to have an idea of my life, not as the slow shaping of achievement to fit my pre-conceived purposes, but as the gradual discovery and growth of a purpose which I did not know. ~Joanna Field Life is not a spectacle or a feast; it is a predicament. ~George Santayana We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give. ~Winston Churchill The tendency of an event to occur varies inversely with one's preparation for it. ~David Searles the Rules for Being Human You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the duration. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called Life. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons, or think them irrelevant and stupid. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial and error: experimentation. The “failed” experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately “works.” A lesson is repeated until learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can then go on to the next lesson. Learning lessons does not end. There is no part of life that does not contain its lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned. “There” is no better than “here.” When your “there” has become a “here,” you will simply obtain another “there” that will again look better than “here.” Others are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects something you love or hate about yourself. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours. Your answers lie inside you. The answers to Life’s questions lie inside you. All you need to do is look, listen and trust. You will forget all this. ~Chérie Carter-Scott top of page Yesterday is but a dream, and tomorrow is only a vision; but today well-lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well therefore, to this day. Such is the salutation of the dawn. ~Sanskrit teaching Great Truths About Life That Little Children Have Learned No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats. When your Mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair. If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person. Never ask your 3-year-old brother to hold a tomato. You can't trust dogs to watch your food. Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot. Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair. Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac. Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time. School lunches stick to the wall. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. (No matter how cute the underwear is.) You've got to dance like nobody's watching, and love like it's never going to hurt." Life must be lived forwards, but can only be understood backwards. ~Kierkegaard Soren Life’s priorities A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes." The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed. "Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things — your family, your children, your health, your friends, your favorite passions — things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. "The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else--the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house, and fix the disposal. "Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand." ~Unknown The Man in the Glass When you get what you want in your struggle for life, And the world makes you king for a day, Just go to a mirror and look at yourself And see what that man has to say. For it isn’t your mother or father or wife, Whose judgement upon you must pass, The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life, Is the one staring back from the glass. Some people may think you a straight-shooting chum, And call you a wonderful guy; But the man in the glass says you’re only a bum, If you can’t look him straight in the eye. He’s the fellow to please, never mind all the rest, For he’s with you clean up to the end, And you’ve passed your most dangerous, difficult test If the man in the glass is your friend. You may fool the whole world down the pathway of life, And get pats on your back as you pass, But your final reward will be heartaches and tears, If you’ve cheated the man in the glass. ~Unknown top of page LISTENING No one ever listened themselves out of a job. ~Calvin Coolidge Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as we speak. ~Epictetus Let others confide in you. It may not help you, but it surely will help them. ~Roger G. Imhoff Listening is an attitude of the heart, a genuine desire to be with another which both attracts and heals. ~J. Isham When I am getting ready to reason with a man, I spend one-third of my time thinking about myself and what I am going to say and two-thirds about him and what he is going to say. ~Abraham Lincoln The greatest gift you can give another is the purity of your attention. ~Richard Moss To be listened to is, generally speaking, a nearly unique experience for most people. It is enormously stimulating. It is small wonder that people who have been demanding all their lives to be heard so often fall speechless when confronted with one who gravely agrees to lend an ear. Man clamors for the freedom to express himself and for knowing that he counts. But once offered these conditions, he becomes frightened. ~Robert C. Murphy The first duty of love is to listen. ~Paul Tillich Listening is the oldest and perhaps the most powerful tool of healing. It is often through the quality of our listening and not the wisdom of our words that are able to effect the most profound changes in the people around us. When we listen, we offer with our attention an opportunity for wholeness. Our listening creates sanctuary for the homeless parts within the other person. That which has been denied, unloved, devalued by themselves and by others. That which is hidden. ~Rachel Naomi Remen It is the province of knowledge to speak and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes Every person I work with knows something better than me. My job is to listen long enough to find it and use it. ~Jack Nichols Only if we can restrain ourselves is good conversation possible. Good talk rises upon much discipline. ~John Erskine You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time. ~M. Scott Peck You can judge a good listener by asking the talker at the end of the conversation what the listener's position is on the topic. If the talker doesn't know, then the listener has probably done a good job of listening. ~Unknown One of the most valuable things we can do to heal one another is listen to each other's stories. ~Rebecca Falls There are enough compulsive talkers; have you met any compulsive listeners? ~Unknown The older I grow the more I listen to people who don't talk much. ~Germain G. Glien top of page LIVING SYSTEMS We can never direct a living system. We can only disturb it. ~Margaret Wheatley The goal of science is to build better mousetraps; the goal of nature is to build better mice. ~Unknown ...but life never comes to a closure; life is process, even mystery. Life is known only to those who have found a way to be comfortable with change and the unknown. Given the nature of life, there may be no security, but only adventure. ~Rachel Naomi Remen Life accepts only partners, not bosses. Systems do not accept direction, only provocation. ~Margaret Wheatley We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men; and among those fibers, as sympathetic threads, our actions run as causes, and they come back to us as effects. ~Herman Melville Every being, every organization, is an identity in motion, creating itself in the world and creating its world simultaneously. ~Margaret Wheatley LOVE In the presence of love, miracles happen. ~Robert Schuller Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage. ~Lao-Tzu The first duty of love is to listen. ~Paul Tillich Time is... Too slow for those who Wait, Too swift for those who Fear, Too long for those who Grieve, Too short for those who Rejoice; But for those who Love, time is eternity. Where there is great love there are always miracles. ~Willa Cather When the power of love overcomes the love of power, then there will be true peace. ~Sri chin Moi Gosh Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so. ~David Grayson Life is short and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us. Oh be swift to love, make haste to be kind. ~Henri-Frédéric Amiel Don't stop giving love, even if you don't receive it. Smile and have patience. ~Unknown We can all be angels to one another. We can choose to obey the still small stirring within, the little whisper that says, 'Go. Ask. Reach out. Be an answer to someone's plea. You have a part to play. Have faith.' We can decide to risk that He is indeed there, watching, caring, cherishing us as we love and accept love. The world will be a better place for it. And wherever they are, the angels will dance. ~Joan Wester Anderson Tell me who admires you and loves you, and I will tell you who you are. ~Charles Augustin Sainte-Beauve Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. ~Joseph Addison Let us hope that we are all preceded in this world by a love story. ~Don Snyder Love and kindness are never wasted. They always make a difference. They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver. ~Barbara De Angelis Take hold lightly; let go lightly. This is one of the great secrets of felicity in love. ~Spanish Proverb Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. ~Marcel Proust Some persons are given for a few hours; others, for a few days, or months, or years. And some are given for a life-time. But all are given for eternity, and if we could only know this to be true, we could accept the gift in this life with thanksgiving, and let it go in thanksgiving. For the love that passes between two persons, if it be truly love, is part of them forever, even though they may part, never to meet again. The gift of person to person, once given, is given for eternity. Yet only when we are able to say 'thank you' can we see that this is so. ~Philip Thatcher (Being Human) Trust in what you love; continue to do it, and it will take you where you need to go. ~Natalie Goldberg We need a moral philosophy in which the concept of love, so rarely mentioned now by philosophers, can once again be made central. ~Iris Murdoch Love is the only way to grasp another human being...to see the essential traits and features....[the] potential in him which is not yet actualized but ought to be actualized... by his love, the loving person enables the beloved person to actualize these potentialities. ~Viktor Frankel What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork. ~Pearl Bailey Love received and love given comprise the best form of therapy. ~Gordon William Allport Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching. ~Satchel Paige If you want to be loved, be lovable. ~Ovid All love is unconditional; anything else is just approval. ~Rachel Naomi Remen M.D. top of page MANAGING The first constant in the job of management is to make human strength effective and human weaknesses irrelevant. ~Peter Drucker The way to regulate well in times of great uncertainty is by learning rather than controlling. Not learning the answers to known questions that serve the intent to control, but learning what questions about balancing and optimizing now merit asking, and then learning how those questions might be answered provisionally — until the present moment emerges into a new context of questions. ~Donald N. Michael MEMORIES The stories of childhood leave an indelible impression, and their author always has a niche in the temple of memory from which the image is never cast out to be thrown on the rubbish heap of things that are outgrown and outlived. ~Howard Pyle MIRACLES Before you were conceived I wanted you Before you were born I loved you Before you were here an hour I would die for you This is the miracle of life. ~Maureen Hawkins Miracles seem to rest, not so much upon faces or voices or healing power coming suddenly near to us from far off, but upon our perceptions being made finer so that for a moment our eyes can see and our ears can hear that which is about us always. ~Willa Cather MOTIVATION People find inspiration in work in two areas. The first has to do with mission -- what they choose to achieve. The other is about values -- what values the